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Thu, Apr. 29th, 2010, 12:57 pm
Serious bear-blasting time

I've come to realize that my back/neck/shoulder tension/pain and this weird prostate thing are drastically affecting my life. I mean, yeah, it's been bad for a while and I know that, but the little day-to-day stuff is sinking in. My conditions (I don't like that term, but I know no other) are the reason that I'm not progressing with this business at the rate I want. Yes, high expectations are part of that too, but I've realized lately that they are a minor player.

The back tension/pain stuff keeps me from working as quickly as I know I can and it forces me to stop before I'm finished with something. The other thing is making me fatigued to the point where sometimes I wake up and feel like I just can't do anything. Every day I wake up and every muscle in my body except for those in my arms and legs hurts and is tight, and I feel like I could sleep another 4 hours and still not be rested. That is a VERY bad state to be in when one is trying to get a business off the ground.

It's nice talking to Ashley about this because she's been there. She hasn't dealt with the back stuff anywhere near as long as I have but hers was more acute. It's nice talking to her about it because she is the only person I've met who is my age who understands what I'm going through. I don't think a single one of my friends takes me seriously when I mention how I feel, though I can't blame them for it because they have never dealt with anything like this. Twenty-somethings generally feel fine, so when they hear another person in their age group talk about back pain I think they tend to think along the lines of "I must have slept in a weird position last night". Yeah, it's like that, except that it's like that EVERY DAMN DAY and with nearly every muscle in my body.

The back is a tough one but being around Ashley will help with that, as I've told her that I want her to force me to do yoga and stretch and such.

There is a lot of evidence suggesting that my other situation is Candidiasis, an overgrowth of yeast. I won't get into the details of my research into it but there is plenty of correlation, especially since I took antibiotics for so long when this thing started. I'm going to get some supplements today that should help a lot if I do indeed have this yeast thing going on. If it isn't a yeast problem, taking them and not feeling any different should make the case for it being something else. Either way, I'm at least going after this thing more intensely.

I've changed my diet and it's helping this (potential) yeast thing. I've eliminated sugar from my diet. This is amazing. Seriously. I dare anyone to cut out all sugar (including fruit, raisins, etc.) for even two weeks. It's SO addictive. I think I understand what nicotine or heroin addiction might be like. I've also mostly eliminated wheat and starchy/processed foods. I have to give myself mad props for cutting these things out, as they're probably the most addictive types of food out there.

I also don't eat soy and I rarely have eggs. I eat a lot of veggies too.

I'm not supposed to have coffee but I started drinking it again and decided that I'm going to allow myself to have it. I decided that with all of this elimination of stuff from my diet, I need to give myself SOMEthing. Coffee it is!

Tomorrow is the big day. I'm going to the frame shops with an illustrated list of the molding profiles I'm making, a price list, and samples of four of the woods I'm using. That last one I came up with yesterday. I realized that people at frame shops probably don't know what real, actual Cherry or Walnut look like, so yesterday I spent some time slicing those woods, plus Ash and Alder, into thin strips. Each piece is 4 inches long, just over an inch wide, and 1/4 inch thick, sanded to the point of extreme smoothness, and waxed with the finish I make. They look great!

All right, better get to work on that price list. So much to do!